Part 3 of 4--The Highway Became A Bumpy, Wooden Rollercoaster

I've never thought I'd pray so hard about puppy dogs. But we came to a place in our lives where it looked like we would not be able to keep our dogs anymore. They were almost 9 when it began, and I prayed for half a year over it. Finally, when I felt like it was right, we jumped.


Only it didn't seem right. The people they went to live with were great. But the dogs weren't eating, and they were getting out into the woods behind their home, and I wasn't eating, and we had to pull the plug and get them back.


I held them so much more, and continued to wish we would never have to go through that again.


However, we were getting close to a big move, and it became clear again that it was best for them and best for us if they went to live with a new family. I won't go into all the details about why they had to go, but trust me, if there was any way for it to all work out, they would be right here beside me now. It's been 2 months now, and I'm still fighting tears.


I wish I could say that I've learned a few big things through this, and here they are: 1, 2, 3. But instead, I've learned how much it can hurt to love something and let it go. I've learned how painful separation can be. I've learned that I second-guess every big decision I make and that I doubt myself even when I believe God gives me answers. I've learned that I can have severely puffy eyes 11 days in a row, and that even when tears completely dry up, they replenish after a day or so. I've learned that losing your beloved puppies can hurt enough to give you heart palpitations and send you to Urgent Care for an EKG. And that if you cry either too much or too hard, your eye can develop a twitch that lasts for hours.


I feel a little ridiculous sharing all that with you, and I know that some people may not understand that puppies who come into your life just after you marry become part of your family, so you feel you've lost a part of your family and even a connection to the past you now hold fondly in your heart.




God gives us what we need when we need it. He gets us through the trials, and we learn to trust Him more. We learn we can trust Him. That's the beauty in it.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.
Isaiah 26:3-4, NIV